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  ICEFIRE

  SHIFTER ACADEMY

  ALESSANDRA JAY

  Icefire

  Copyright © 2020 by Alessandra Jay

  Cover design by Maria Spada

  All rights reserved.

  Printed in the United States of America.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This book is a work of fiction.

  Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  For more information or to contact, go to:

  www.alessandrajay.com

  www.theshifteracademy.com

  Acknowledgements

  My Shifter Academy family- I feel so honored to be in a group with such kind and helpful authors. I am so grateful for all of the help you have given me. One million and more thank you’s.

  Mom, my favorite editor- You are always there when I need you and for that, I will be forever thankful. Thank you for your mad grammar skills.

  DEDICATION

  To anyone struggling with a mental illness, you are not alone.

  Be brave, be strong, find your peace. If you need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to contact me through any of my social media accounts. I’m here for you.

  &

  To Grandma- Always for you, Abuela. I miss you and I love you. Hope you’re dancing with all of the elephants.

  CHAPTER LIST

  ● Chapter 1- New Year

  ● Chapter 2- Finding Time

  ● Chapter 3- Routine Work

  ● Chapter 4- Dr. Ember

  ● Chapter 5- Ice & Fire

  ● Chapter 6- Bittersweet Freedom

  ● Chapter 7- Unwelcome Flashbacks

  ● Chapter 8- Go Dark

  ● Chapter 9- Dad’s Day Off

  ● Chapter 10- The Journal

  ● Chapter 11- Phoenix Pride

  ● Chapter 12- Date Night

  ● Chapter 13- Militia Meeting

  ● Chapter 14- Support System

  ● Chapter 15- Serious Message

  ● Chapter 16- High Alert

  ● Chapter 17- Remain Secure

  ● Chapter 18- Temper Control

  ● Chapter 19- Ultimatum Blues

  ● Epilogue- Find Yourself

  Chapter 1

  New Year

  Juliet started each day with yoga and a light exercise. Some of the other students asked if they could join her routine and, even though she hesitantly accepted, it was something she looked forward to.

  When she woke up cranky or on edge, she’d enter the gym with her headphones on and loud enough that the people in the back could hear it. And still, her gym buddies left her be. A few of them were just as dependent on music as she was and had their headphones wrapped around their ears as well. They’d follow along to the workout without a single word and it was one of Juliet's favorite things about them.

  That morning, was one of her crankiest so her headphones were on full blast. She was eager to get zen and made it to the gym faster than usual. Her yoga friends were already there and immediately noticed her mood as a couple of them put on their own headphones. Usually it didn’t take long for the yoga to help but her mind was dizzy with anxious thoughts so it took a while longer for her to get some peace.

  After the chaotic mess of last year, Juliet’s senses were on overload. She seemed to feed off of the debilitating energy that everyone carried around with them. Ever since the vampire attack on the Dome, it seemed paranoia had taken over.

  For a while, Juliet thought it would never get back to normal. But as time went by, the light crept back into the Dome. It was getting more boisterous, like it used to be, and the students got back into their normal routine, especially since Kenzie’s Christmas ball. Still, the air was thick with anxiety.

  The low energy was a trigger for Juliet, causing her to completely sink into her shell. For a while she tried to ignore it but when it began to affect how she was around Myreen and Kenzie, her self-judgment ate her alive. It started with her canceling plans then with her turning her phone off. Finally, when she knew there was no going back, she went out of her way to avoid bumping into them in the halls so she didn't have to explain herself.

  When they saw her blatantly spinning around to bolt the other way, it must have been the last straw for them because after that they no longer tried. Which was what Juliet needed, or so she thought. Then, like a sad movie, she watched Nik do the same thing to his friends as he struggled with his own mental battles. She was grateful he hadn’t pushed her out because she couldn’t take losing him...again.

  Juliet found ways to distract herself from it all, which only really worked when she was alone. Lately that was something she didn’t have to search far for. Nik and Malachai spent most of their time doing military things and stressing about the remnants of Draven’s vampires. Malachai was head of the military and now part of the new shifter council, which meant time with him was sparse. It was understandable, but she didn’t like having to fight for their time, so she stopped.

  Heavily relying on music to keep her sane and centered, Juliet kept her headphones around her neck at all times. Everyone knew to leave her alone if they were lifted to her ears. Except, of course, her inner circle. That was something she still couldn’t believe she had.

  Growing up, no kids ever got close enough to make her feel like she was a part of their group. But now, as she learned to embrace who she really was, it was easier for her to make friends. The best part was that they accepted her for who she was. A clumsy introvert who had the temper of a firecracker.

  Being more open to the possibilities of new friendships was one of the top things on Juliet’s list of New Year's resolutions. There wasn’t much on the list, but what was on it was heavy. Controlling her temper was another big one. What topped the list completely was getting a handle on her gifts and getting answers on what they really meant.

  The combination of fire and ice was as rare as it sounded and Juliet wanted to know everything. But with her dad always busy with new missions and vampire alerts, there was nowhere for Juliet to go with her questions.

  After her yoga session, she showered and went to the one other place she would be. If she wasn’t in class or training, she could be found in the library, researching whatever she could find on the gift of ice and alicorns. But she never got far enough and it frustrated her to the point of no return.

  Grabbing books, Juliet brought them back to her still-hidden space in the library. She slammed each book down when it got her nowhere. She paced the floor and almost lit the books on fire as she let the anger rise inside of her. There was nothing to give her what she needed to know and nowhere to find it.

  As if the new year was a push of confidence, Juliet vowed to find the guts to ask Malachai. He urged her to believe that he told her everything he knew, but something told her that was a lie. Surely her father would think it was finally time. She only hoped that was the case. Deep down she believed he would give her the same weary look and request that they discuss it at another time.

  The push of courage that she gave herself was enough for her to return the books and give her eyes a rest. Dragging her feet behind her, Juliet numbly made it back to her bedroom. As soon as her head touched her pillow the decision for her to skip the rest of her classes and hibernate in the comfort of her room was easy.

  The combat boots that she just had on her feet slammed against the wall by her door and the remote found her hand like a magnet. Under her cove
rs, Juliet placed her palms up against the fabric and, with only a small push, her hands warmed the blanket.

  Hugging it closer to her, she relished in the pleasant warmth and security that she felt underneath it. Quickly she signed into her movie account and clicked play on the first movie that came up. Because even she knew it was only going to be on as background noise.

  Lately, whenever Juliet tried to get zen, something in her mind always blocked her from staying zen. She knew that it was her own thoughts that couldn’t be silenced. She thought she had gotten control of her anxiety. Clearly, she had not.

  Juliet sunk deeper into the bed and covered herself from her head to her toes. With the warmth from the blanket, she closed her eyes and concentrated on enjoying the few moments of peace that she did get. Again, it didn’t last long.

  The fight of hot and cold that she felt in her soul didn’t allow her to stay in that tranquil state. Juliet clutched her chest with her sweaty fist as her heart felt as if it was split in half. As if it were two magnets repelling against each other.

  The more she focused on it, the more it brought her pain and discomfort. So she found the remote under the covers and turned the volume up on the TV. The classic movie of women baseball players had just the right soundtrack that would distract her completely.

  Just up her alley, the swing music blared through her speakers, causing her mind to block out the separation she felt inside. Her feet tapped along to the fast beat as she watched the movie with her full attention.

  A loud knock banged on her door and it scared Juliet half to death. Her heart jumped and slammed against her chest as she instinctively raised her palm to her door. Sharp icicles escaped from her fingertips straight to her door, where she fully expected them to penetrate the wood. Instead they broke into hundreds of pieces as they crashed from the door to the floor.

  “TURN THAT DOWN!” A deep voice shouted from the other side of her door.

  Juliet could hear their footsteps running away and decided not to give them her attention. She lowered the volume and cleaned up her mess, which felt like something she was doing a lot of lately.

  Frustrated, Juliet threw herself back on her bed and sat with her legs tucked under the covers. With her head in her hands, she grunted and groaned about how off she’d been. She felt like such a mess and didn’t want to let the sense of failure take her over. Ever since she used her gifts to her full extent on the day of the ambush, they’d been unbalanced.

  Yet, it was so easy for her to succumb to the numbness of the depression that ached to cover each part of her mind with nothing but darkness. She slammed her hands to her sides and refused to go down the brain trap. Grabbing a notebook out of her bag, she tried to find a strong enough distraction. It was where she’d been writing all of her unanswered questions and research.

  If anyone were to find it, she wouldn’t be worried because only she could understand her messy handwriting. The first half was labeled as ice and the other half was fire. Her fire side was much more filled than the ice because she had answers about her phoenix side, since there was a class on it. And anything else she needed to know about it, her dad gladly spilled. But with her ice gift, there wasn’t anything for her to lean on.

  Her fire side was filled with things she’d tried and things that she’d failed at. Pages full, in fact. But her ice side only had a few pages full, only because of what she did when they were attacked. That was the only time she actually pushed herself to explore that side of her.

  Malachai seemed hesitant to supply any information, but Juliet was sure it was because he didn’t have all the answers himself. If he did know and he just chose not to tell her, then that was something she wouldn’t handle well. It wasn’t like the school assigned her a teacher to train her the way her father did when she first made it to the Dome.

  She didn’t want to be a hassle either, because everyone was trying to find their way around again. So she took it upon herself to try and get answers and try and train herself. Even if it gave her anxiety and brought her down, she wanted to do it herself. Although, bothering her dad for whatever answers he did have was easy enough for her to continue doing.

  She wouldn’t stop until she found something that could help her. The new year gave her hope to find those answers and to do it with her mental health under control. As hard and as impossible as it felt, Juliet was adamant about being strong enough to do it or to at least try. Yet, she had sunk so deep that she fell into another anxiety trap. It was going to take time and Juliet knew that, even if it hurt her to know it.

  Chapter 2

  Finding Time

  Balance was the keyword in Juliet’s new year perspective. It went with everything that she had to deal with; her gifts, her emotions and temper, and with her dad and Nik. Especially Nik. After the vampire ambush, he’d never really been the same.

  It wasn’t something Juliet blamed him for or judged him on. She wouldn’t be the same after dying, either. Even though, technically, every time she shifted her heart literally stopped. That was something she kept to herself, though.

  There was a new vengeance to Nik’s outlook, especially when it came to the vampires and protecting the school. He didn’t want another student to ever have to go through what he did. Which, again, was understandable. There was a new sense of security that he carried around with him everywhere he went.

  Malachai loved it, and Juliet tried not to let it bother her. It was as if she had two fatherly protectors now, who were both weirdly on the same page. That was something she had to get accustomed to, the new bond that Malachai and Nik shared.

  Everyone gave Nik space after what happened to him, except Juliet. She didn’t think she was part of those people who chose to keep their distance from him. It wasn’t that he was standoffish or rude, he was just quiet now and it always looked like he had some task to accomplish. His eyes were always wide open and studying the area around everyone.

  To Juliet, he seemed lost when he would look off into the distance with squinting eyes, mentally checking things off of his list, securing the range of space they were in. His new sense of urgency for the military rubbed her the wrong way. Between that and his need to protect the students, putting them at the top of his list, Juliet didn’t always like it. Which was why she found solace in being alone, the way it had always been for her.

  She had to give Nik credit because when he was alone with Juliet, he did try to give her his undivided attention. It was when they’d sit for too long that he would get antsy, his foot would tap at a dizzying speed and his mouth would turn to a pout as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

  She tried to plan their time together doing something stimulating and distracting enough that he didn’t have time to look at his phone for militia updates. That usually meant getting out of the Dome for fun. Leaving was too much of a process now, though. Malachai made it nearly impossible for anyone to leave if they were in a rush.

  The endless amount of paperwork they had to sign and initial gave her hands cramps. They also had to download a tracker app to make sure they got to their location safely. Juliet alone, because Malachai was her father, got an alarming amount of messages from him whenever she stepped foot out of the school.

  Sneaking out was pretty simple before the ambush. But now there was no way of getting out without setting off some alert to one of the soldiers. Nik was also too paranoid now to do anything that didn’t follow the rules. But Juliet didn’t push him. She also didn’t let him get away with it all.

  When she had a terrible day, all she either wanted was to be left alone or held by him. There were days where he wouldn’t answer his phone or she had to search all around the dome to find him. It was those days Juliet needed him the most, and he knew it by the fiery red complexion her skin tone took on.

  Aside from talking her off the ledge, there wasn’t much he could do if she was already having a breakdown. She knew being difficult wasn’t convenient, but Nik reassured her that he was always there for
her. Malachai didn’t quite understand their need for each other, but he tried not to fret about it when they were together.

  Juliet found that if she spent time with both Nik and her dad at the same time, it always made her grumpier. They had their own secret military language that she never understood and it made her feel left out. The bittersweet part was that they had each other's backs. Like if Juliet got on Nik’s case for something, then Malachai would go to his defense and vice versa.

  They agreed to split their time for her. Since the many changes of security happened, Malachai hadn’t been able to continue his one on one training sessions with Juliet to work on her phoenix side. That sent a small spike through her heart because she didn’t feel important enough.

  The sense of abandonment wore heavily on Juliet. It was a trigger when it came to Malachai and it was affecting her mental state even more than it already had. She tried to remind herself of all the things that he did for her. Losing him seemed way worse of a choice.

  She didn’t need a boy or her father before, but now she felt as if she couldn’t live without either of them. Maybe it could be trauma from when Nik died. Either way, it took everything inside of her to try and stay level-headed so she could appreciate the time she did have with them.

  From the hard morning of dead-end research, Juliet was triggered into a deep relapse, buried in her bed, eyes rooted to the television screen. There were barely any missed calls from her to Nik so, as he entered the room, he walked toward her with caution. Slowly and unsure, but confident. He scratched at his head as he approached the bed without a look from her.